If you’ve just decided to separate, you may feel lost and stuck where you are. Setting legal, emotional and financial goals for your divorce and your future will help you get the right outcome for you. 

You Know What You’re Working Towards

Divorce is hard, and it is normal to be sad, angry, and confused. You should acknowledge your feeling and process them accordingly, but it’s important not to let yourself get lost in them or tip over into depression. 

When you’re feeling stuck in a rut and not sure how to move forward, figuring out some goals and plans can help you make that first step to getting back on track. 

The ultimate goal is to be able to focus on the future and building your new life – that will help you see the positives in life and move forward. 

Reduces Stress and Fear

Most fear is caused by unknowns. Not knowing what the future will bring, not knowing how you will survive, not knowing what’s going to happen to your family. 

The best way to deal with these fears is to address them directly, and come up with the answers. The answers lie in setting goals and making plans. It can be good to work with an expert, such as a counsellor, to talk through your fears and what your goals could be. 

Think about what your ideal outcomes would be from the separation. Would you be on good terms with your spouse? Will your children stay in the same school and keep doing the same activities? Will you or your spouse remain in the family home with the children? Where will the other one of you live?   

Once you have an idea of what outcomes you’d like to reach, you can put a plan in place to achieve them. Then you know what the steps you need to take are and what you’re trying to achieve. It gives you a purpose and motivation, and it’ll feel great once you’ve achieved those goals. 

You Know What You’re Arguing For

If you have clear goals in mind, you know what is important to you and what isn’t, where and what you will compromise, and what you absolutely can’t let go of. 

This will help you go to the negotiation table with a clear mind. Knowing what your ultimate goals are, especially if they include maintaining a good relationship with your spouse, will help you be fair and open, and remind you to keep your anger in check, ultimately resulting in the best outcomes. 

So while you may feel as though you don’t know what the future will bring, taking control of your future and setting goals will help you to feel better and to move forward.