We all know how to have a nasty divorce don’t we? You can guarantee that by:
- Holding onto your anger
- Fighting about everything
- Bad mouthing your ex
- Telling the kids tales about their other parent
- Believing that your version of your separation is the only version
- And last but not least, you can guarantee a very unfriendly divorce by hiring a bulldog lawyer
So, to have a friendly, or even a ‘not bad’ divorce, do the opposite of all the above. You can do that by:
- Finding ways to create some emotional distance from your grief and anger
- Forgiving your ex (for yourself if not for them)
- Behaving in ways you will not be ashamed of in a few years
- Leaving the kids out of it if you don’t want to hurt them. They really, really do not want to hear what either of you has to say about their other parent, (unless it happens to be good of course)
- Practice telling the story of your divorce from your ex’s shoes, if only to yourself
And last but not least, know that the revenge you want your bulldog lawyer to inflict for you will probably make no difference to your settlement, but will certainly come at a cost to your bank balance, your wellbeing and your chance of an early recovery.
