It’s a common question that people wonder after divorce. How do you know if you’re ready to move on from your divorce and start a new relationship?

If you’re post separation or divorce, the mere thought of meeting someone new can sometimes be a variable mix of emotions. There can be the excitement from the surprise of who it might be and what joy they may add to your life, or it may arouse feelings of uncertainty or stress as to how you navigate this new chapter. Questions you may be thinking are:

  • How do you find the right person?
  • Are you looking for a serious relationship or just something casual and fun?
  • What will you do if you want to introduce your children to them? What is the best way to do this?

The biggest question to begin with and probably the most important is how do you know when you’re ready? Let’s look at some questions you may want to ask yourself first before navigating this new experience.

  • Have you detached from your ex?
  • Have you reached the acceptance stage of your relationship grieving?
  • Are you still caught up in the emotion of hope that your ex may wish to rekindle the relationship?
  • Do you feel like you’ve grown as a person?
  • Do you feel like you’ve reclaimed or developed your identity yet?

Many people may feel influenced by friends and relatives on when and how to move forward into this new and exciting chapter, encouraging you to date or explore your options – or suggesting that you do not. But the only person who knows if you’re truly ready, is you. You can determine this feeling by acknowledging where you are emotionally and psychologically on your separation journey.

If you truly and deeply know that you are at that stage of self-fulfillment and self-love and you’re ready to share your world with a significant other, consider this wonderful next chapter as a beautiful journey as opposed to a sprint. As some of you may be coming out of a long-term relationship of years or even decades, we recommend to start off small and slow. The idea of meeting someone and feeling obliged to go on a romantic dinner date, see a show, or head off on a weekend getaway can feel terrifying. Instead meet for lunch or a coffee to get your feet wet and then build yourself up to the bigger dates.

This blog post is complemented by a fantastic FREE worksheet resource that you can find here which you can fill out to answer the questions to see if you’re ready.